Walking down the abandoned road, I ask myself; what am I doing here? Where am I heading? Why am I going there? What will happen to me once I’m there? Am I even supposed to be there in the first place? Questions are endless. Answers unknown.
I keep walking on the deserted road. No sign of life till miles ahead. I am scared, lost and powerless. Have I come too far to turn back now? I chance a look in the direction I came from but there’s nothing there, just darkness, gloom and shadows. I find my answer in the oblivion. I have to move on.
Miles covered, step by step, stride by stride. It’s just me and my thoughts. We keep moving towards nowhere in particular. All we know is that we have to keep going else the darkness behind will swallow us. Finally, after forever, I see a light, just like the often talked about ray of hope. Suddenly out of nowhere, I find this sudden strength that thrusts me forward towards the almost visible light.
I keep telling myself it’s not too far. The last few miles are the toughest but once you reach where you have wanted to be, the feeling is unmatched to any. These are my thoughts as I keep trudging along. The course is complicated, the road dilapidated but all I can see is that glow in a distance. There’s nothing that can deflect me from being where I want to be. I am oblivious to everything passing by me. I don’t care. All I can see is that tiny speck which even at a distance has the power to make me happy, make me want to do something, give me a direction.
All of a sudden I stumble and fall. Strange, I think to myself for I didn’t see any roadblocks ahead. So where did these come from... out of nowhere... unexpected... unforeseen. Or…was it me who ignored what was clearly obvious, what was in front of me all the time and I chose to ignore it?
Roadblocks or not, the fall has definitely made me stand back and reflect upon how far I’ve come and where I am headed. And it takes me back to where I started with all the questions that I could not find the answers to. A thought pops in my mind, someone once said to me, “not every question is meant to be answered”. After all this I now feel not every question is meant to have an answer. But the questions just don’t seem to stop pushing themselves at me.
It seems like an endless circle… one in which I am trapped, destined to be lost forever... looking for and seeking the happiness that I’ve always dreamt of, longing for the contentment that seems to keep shying away from me… Why? When? Where?
