Run

There comes a time in our lives when we feel as if we don't belong anywhere. The deal for survival is to get past that phase. Those who can, are winners; those who cant, are…not. I belong to the later category. I have been hanging on to my past for so long or is it my present that I can't deal with. I don't know. I wish I had someone I could rely on. As much as people try to care for me try and understand me… I know they can't, not in the way I want them too. I stand on the threshold, not knowing whether to return or to keep going. There are no guarantees in this ungodly world. What lies ahead… the unknown… I walk on… on the shore, hoping to catch the rays portentous of a new dawn, with no misery, no melancholy, no glum memories to haunt me…to a fresh start. Deep down I know its not all that difficult. All I have to do is not look back…. But that's the hard-hitting part. I run, hoping to leave all my uncertainties behind me only to realize that it is me who I have been running from all along. I don't have the valor to confront my own feelings. I don't have the courage to let go of my past. I feel strangulated, at wits end, as if all I had ever believed in has come crumbling down, all my dreams... all my beliefs… all my hopes. The struggle for survival is on, the outcome unknown.