Life – A Lesson….

Mine is an ongoing struggle against none other than myself for my existence. I’ve been facing it so long that now it feels like breathing in the polluted air around. Important lessons learnt, significant ones ignored. Life is a lesson, I am yet to learn. It has been a betrayal to me. But then who hasn't been betrayed ever..? Some by people they love... some by fate... some by luck… some even by themselves.

Life can either mould your rough edges and carve you into a fine gem OR it can bit by bit, layer by layer, tear you down and completely erode you in such a way that you yourself come to doubt your own existence in this blasphemous world. Outcome depends on how much you are willing to fight… how much you’re willing to scrap… how much you’re willing to struggle on. Me..? Am done fighting. Sick of it. Why do I need to prove myself time and again? Why to the people I care for, I love?

Why is it that life throws me in directions it knows I will be lost in. No... It doesn’t want to refine me into something better, into someone stronger. How can you expect someone who has tasted her own tear drops; smile at the first rain drops falling down on earth. How can someone who has faced far too many broken dreams, hope to realize her dream one day?

It feels like an ongoing controversy against me… like quicksand, the more I resist, the deeper I get sucked into it. I fight, I die. I stay, I still still perish. . . . . . My life ticks on... like a bomb ready to explode anytime.